Single-ear-hearing

As you might have guessed, I never found out what made me so restless and as you might have guessed as well, it kind of passed... I think...

Anyway, I felt I had to sum it up a little bit since my last post. Today I have hearing on only one side because I am cold and it has passed from my nose to my ear. Or not passed, rather spread itself. I became instantly cold returning from my holiday and when I thought I was well again I went to work-out and hence got cold again. Very convenient. It is a pity because I really enjoy working out. I would have been the last one to admit that I liked that sort of no-use-of-brain-exercise, but it is very relieving to go there. They tell you what to do, you do it, you leave. I don't have to instruct people all the time, fill in forms or go to the sessions no matter what came up. I love my new irresponsible me. Later....

When I was a kid, I was able to drink water from a glass and walk at the same time, apparently that does not apply anymore because I tried it at work last friday. I take this as an obvious sign of ageing. I am losing my foremost abilities as we speak, such as for instance the ability to sleep through the entire morning until lunch without getting struck by an impressive headache. This morning, being the first in a very long time where I have nothing in particular to get up to, I managed to sleep until 8:32 am... Although I woke up for the first time at 6:55 am just for fun (or something like that). I know that there is something that makes me restless. Hold on, I will return to this subject later...

The Art of Vegetating

I think it is perfectly clear that you should set up goals that you can actually achieve, hence my last suggestion to vegetate the weekend away should have gone terrific. The art of vegetation is totally brilliant and of course no my idea. It was actually my boss who presented and explained the expression during the coffee break as an instant reply to my "I don't want to do anything useful this weekend". In order to vegetate you should look like a vegetable and act accordingly, which means you should behave as little as possible in all ways. Preferably you should sit very still and think of absolutely nothing. The difference between meditating and vegetating is that you by meditate actually achieve something in the long run whilst by vegetating you are mainly wasting your time in a very unsatisfying way. Of course I did not succeed, it was just too complicated and proved to be much harder than expected, so I sort of cheated. My tip if you want to reach success is to get really stoned.

Forced to Speak Out

Oh, I know why I think it is so hard to keep this blog alive and breathing. It is a language issue. As noted, English is not what I speak while I am asleep... Or awake. Back at uni, when I started this blog, English was a much greater influence in my life than today. As my life evolves today I automatically find that writing in English is something I do more reluctantly than before. The same goes for speaking. However, occasionally I get phone calls from German patent attorneys. They ask me if I speak German, I say no, they say that their English suck, and I say that my German sucks to an even greater extent, they feel defeated. However, it turns out that I am wrong. I like that very much, it compensates for my lack of knowledge in German Patent Law.

I am off to vegetate the weekend away...

Cd:s in my collection questioning my personality...

... Although not necessary a bad thing:

Hammerfall - Renegade

Wet wet wet - 10

Scorpions - Best

Backstreet boys

Ludwig van Beethoven - Triplekonzert/Eroica Variationen

Phil Collins - ...Hits

The Painful Truth

Christmas is now finally over even for me. It was with grief in my heart that I disarmed my christmas tree, dead since long time ago but nevertheless still used as decoration until tonight. Of course I should have got rid of it as soon as I noticed that it was not taking up water anymore, but I was thinking "what's the harm as long as the spruce needles are still intact.?" I was thinking of keeping the tree trunk after cutting off every single branch, but It just did not look very nice obviously. Also, it painfully reminded me of a time when it was the most beautiful christmas tree I had ever seen. It was also my first own christmas tree which causes me a great deal of sadness as we have to go separate ways. I may have another tree next christmas but the first christmas tree is always special. Besides, it had been here for so long that I can not really say that I remember what it was like before I bought it. When I had put it into a plastic bag it left an empty space I am sure that I had never seen that before.

Although I know it in my heart, I can not believe that it is over.

Bad Day

I can not stand sundays. I am sitting here travelling downwards in a mood spiral. Maybe it is not the sunday, it may be a general uncomfortable feeling that something is very wrong. I have issues, obviously. I have had weird dreams about Frank since we left each other, I have had flashbacks from past emotional stress and I feel terrible for not having the strenght to pull through. But tomorrow's a New Clear Day.

Due to Popular Demand...

... I open up my blog again. Not that it has not been open before, just that I have not used it for a while. And with lots of time on my hand, I have regained some inspiration. Most typical when I update my blog, something unusual just happened. I felt lika boiling an egg, which is not that unusual but more a consequence of the fact that I once bought a six-pack and now there is just one left and on thursday the best-before-date expires. The unusual happened when I sunk it into the rather hot (from the tap) but far from boiling water. It freaking SQUEEKED! I turned into a total state of shock, since it was not a constant squeek but severel short ones. As soon as I picked it up it stopped and when I sunk it into the water again it started its *squeeeeek* *squeeeeek*. Now, all of you familiar with the laws of physics (I am not) knows that if you put e.g. some ice into boiling water it will produce a whistling squeek for a while, and I am quite sure that is what happened with The Egg. This is completely irrelevant in this matter because I won't on any condition boil and eat an egg that squeeks! Those will be my famous last words... Probably... Anyway, its back in the refrigerator now because I wasn't sure what to do with it, and I won't sit on it.

Men on Screen

Caught a cold again and can not sleep at night as a direct consequence of an itchy and sore throat. But apart from that I embrace my existence with modest joy. I even picked up a christmas present and two birthday presents for Frank and Jim today, which makes me feel a little bit holy for a while. It is nice to give, although it is even nicer that I have now taken the full step and ordered The Complete Sherlock Holmes Collection with Jeremy God Brett. I do have several episodes of Millennium left to watch, (which I got from Frank for my birthday), but sinced I moved away from my rooms where I was living steadily with more than a rabbit as a company, I find them rather difficult to watch. I can not take my eyes from Lance Henriksen but the stories can be scary, and I enjoy some comforting company just in case. I am now looking forward to lots and lots of evenings together with Mr. Brett. After all he played Sherlock Holmes for ten years or something like that, so it has to take some time to watch, yay!

On another note, I got lost in the lift on my way home. As a habit I take the lift instead of walking up to the seventh floor where I live. From time to time I count the floors as they pass outside the window, but today I was in deep thoughts when the lift stopped two floors too late. Or rather 2,01 floors to late since I dropped a cm from the door, and I had to spend several seconds to locate on what floor the lift had stopped. Some sort of mal function I suppose since I am sure I pressed the right button. I do not have liftophobia or whatever you choose to call it when someone prefers to walk 7 floors as if there were no other alternatives, but I confess that it was not very comfy at all.

The Broccoli

I think one should consider to evaluate ones sense of fascination radar, when exclaiming "YES!" upon the fact that there is a discount on fresh broccoli. I felt like beating myself up for doing that, but still I have to point out that broccoli is an underestimated vegetable. Not so much cabbage like... uh... cabbage, and so much more healthy than the rather meaningless iceberg lettuce. That is why I -despite the reluctant feeling over my reaction- went to the specific store and bought two broccolis(?), and cooking one of them instantly while putting the other one in the freezer. Besides, I read that if all broccoli that is purchased in this country would be cultivated here, the greenhouse effect would be reduced by 50 %. That is because the broccoli is transported half around the world before it ends up on my plate. Also, the cultivation costs would double, a price I think is fair to pay actually. Anyway, the other day I put the frozen broccoli in my fridge causing it to defrost and making my fridge smell like something died there. It instantly became less popular.

Quite an achievement

Am in a possession of a rather showy diploma. The story goes, that I had to go through an ordeal to get it. Years of studies including examination periods and essay writing, heart spasms, nose bleed and /\/\/\/\/\. But things like that tend to fade away when you are wearing a cowl that resembles a tent in size and causes the temperature of a sauna. It was kind of itchy as well, and I did look kind of ridiculous with the only consolation of knowing that I was not alone. Ah poor me, that is why I think it is more of a sport thinking of that as my greatest achievement.

Mind the Lacuna can not stay away anymore

I can't believe I had to think twice before I remembered my ID and password for this old darling. But I made it here finally, hallelujah and other interjections of religious meaning.

So... Bringing myself up to date, the course of events basically goes: (New) apartment, (new) job, (new) income tax demand note. "New" will have to be placed inside brackets since something can not really be new unless you get rid of something old that you have actually had, sort of. Making a short story quite long after all. Also, I am creating my own plans how to celebrate christmas... Also counts as "new". I am so getting myself a christmas tree and I will decorate it JUST the way I want. No questions asked. And I will play as much christmas music as I want. My first christmas cd was purchased just the other day, Cold - A different kind of pain, almost broke my heart, exceedingly great.

Things related to christmas is most definitely per definition things that appear around christmas by tradition or not. Hence, I have calculated plans to buy myself a christmas movie as well, for instance "The complete Sherlock Holmes collection" with Jeremy Brett, oh that great nose of his... I was for a very long time under the impression that Basil Rathbone was much more Sherlock Holmes than Brett because he looked a lot more like the way I picture him. After 4 clips from YouTube I fail to remain completely faithful to that theory of mine (that is my theory that I have come up with and therefore is mine...). Rathbone might be hot at moments, but the movies and his acting are/is ancient (as was the custom by then of course) in comparation to the Granada series. As for Sherlock Holmes in general, I am completely in love more than I have been for a long time... Can't contain myself, have to return to the book again...

Great Impression pt. 2 and String Boiling

Have not posted for a while since I have felt very uninspired as well as a little bit listless. I think I am still happy being unemployed but important decisions awaits me. As seen in earlier posts, I am not particularily fond of those. Human's endless questions: What do I want with my life, and why do you feel phantom mosquito stings just because you are helplessly afraid of mosquitos.

Went to an employment intreview earlier today which started terrific with me totally unable to make it there in time. Of course it was not my fault but the entry phone that didn't work. When it finally called somewhere at all, it was unfortunatley to a completely different office (although the same company, wuhu...) in another city. They told me to wait outside until someone would come and get me. Well, they DID come and get me, but I really blew the opportunity of making a first great impression.

My unemployness has lead to several different economic restrains. Like buying cheap food that is actually much cheaper than other food for a damn good reason. Like using the public transportations during impossible parts of the day ('low traffic'-periods) when I am going somewhere. I am almost the only one who does. Also for a reason. My latest project is to boil my bass strings. I actually broke the thickest one (which shouldn't be possible without a tong) a while ago so I had to change it. Now, the other remaining strings have probably seen a lot of things. Like for instance Operation Overlord. They are very old and full of skin rests, dried sweat and gunk in general. This makes the tone die much earlier than on the new string, so I have to even it out. I gave up the thought of express-soiling the newest string, so now I will have to boil the other ones. This will be very insteresting I believe (so to Yoda speak). To be continued...

Draught Unemployness

I am now happy unemployed. It might seem tragic but on the contrary, I really enjoy it. I have never been properly unemployed before, spending most of my life studying, so I kind of feel excited about it. I get to hang around with other unemployed people at the employment service and I get to go to useless meetings pondering over this problem which I do not really see as a problem at this moment. Fred says this feeling will most certainly go away in a not so distant future, therefore it seems that there is even more reason to enjoy it.

Due to my recent employment state I have a striking amount of spare time, and I have been knocking myself out cleaning the garden from dandelions. They are tricky bastards because if you don't manage to pick the entire root, it will take like a few days or so and they will resurrect. It sort of never ends, which is frustrating in a very fun way. Also, I have been engaging in theoretical studies on how to pour a pint of Guinness properly. It turns out to be a science. Apparently you are suppose to pour 3/4 and let it settle before you finish. Then, there is the bishop's collar, i.e. the white foam and the leaning of the glass and the importance of not offending Ireland and so on. Actually, I am not very fond of beer at all, but when it comes to Guinness it is a completely different thing. Anyone can forgive a drink where the bubbles travel downwards.

Rage Against the Pirates!

The police made a razzia against the server keepers of the most powerful national file sharing site, (this actually took place on the same day I presented my master thesis, I bet it is some sort of a sign, just don't know of what). It gave birth to massive protests, where people actually declared that they want to see file sharing legalised. The demonstrators held that raids against these type of servers as well as the hunt after pirates in general should be abandoned on grounds that these type of infringements are impossible to surveil and control. This guy interviewed by the newsppaper even said that the police should surrender since they are fighting in a war they can never win, and that it is impossible making 10 percent of all citizens criminals just like that. I mean, what kind of *beep* argument is that? Firstly, one can not kill copyright, because it is one of the most important incitaments an author/artist/designer has. Zillions of works would not exist if it was not for copyright (already touched upon this in an earlier post). Secondly, yes, copying for private use in the information society is practically impossible to control, but an illegal act is most certainly not less illegal just because the amount of thieves is growing. The extreme part of it, is that there is actually a party established in the parliament right now that wants to make file sharing legal. They say one has to expand the compensations given to the authors. This will never work I tell you, because how is it possible to distribute fair compensation to the concerned authors, making sure that they are fully compensated, if it is impossible to surveil how many infringements there are and on what works? In fact, as already stated, this is beyond all control at this point. If it was not, we would not have this problem at all.

On another as much interesting note, my budgie so chirps in stereo. He really sounds as two birds, it is so weird. I am afraid I have made him confused because I never replaced his mom, who used to keep him company. Now he has turned to his mirror instead, so he sits all day long chatting with himself about life and stuff. Maybe that is why I always think I have two budgies in my room. Should I be worried? About me that is?

Queer but Hardly Dangerous

Tomorrow I will defend my master thesis. It is not actually that exciting at all. In fact, I have a pretty good idea about what the opponents are going to say. We met earlier today to discuss our thesis' and decided to pretend as if we don't know anything about what the other is going to say at the final seminar. I was thinking, as we sat in the library, isn't this cheating? Well, probably not, but let's say I am in for some serious acting tomorrow. "Oh, really? I didn't notice that this one needs a semi-colon".

Had the most extrodinary weather today, switching between blistering sunshine and Niagra falls style. I even got to see a rainbow, which inspired me to watch the last episode of the last season of Queer as Folk (US). Justin/Brian is one of the most sensitive soap love relationships I have ever seen. It is my favourite series after Millennium. Anyhow, in the end they sort of, but not entirely, break up because they feel like they are holding each other back in their struggle of satisfying the other one. I better stop before I am going sentimental and stuff.

Red Light, Green Light

I was thinking of a new blogging-habit. As soon as anyone that I don't know says hello to me, I will go here and post. Yes, it has happened again. I was driving the car in town and stopped for red light (actually I do sometimes) when this Volvo s60/s40 stopped next to me. The driver made a honk and this odd looking person next to the driver started to wave at me and smile. Then it crossed my lane and disappeared. I promise I don't know anyone who drives a dark blue Volvo s60/s40 of that late model. This made me think of the expression 'everyone knows the monkey, but the monkey knows no one' (well, doesn' work that well in translation I suppose). The amnesia is total.

Frank's sister brought terrible news about this particular butter I use on my sandwiches. It says on the label that it is good for your heart since it contains omega-3 stuff/fat. Apparently, she had read somewhere that this is not at all better than regular butter. It may even be more harmful for your health in general. Not that I give a damn about my heart at this point (I'm only 22 after all), but the difference is that this omega-3 butter has no milk in it, which is very convenient since I am lacto intolerant. It contains fat from greens and plants. So... Abandon omega-3 butter, or not? I figured that the best thing is to fool myself a little bit. Therefore, I imagine that I am considering laying it off, but will still use it until I have decided for sure.

The boredom...

So here we are again in the middle of the night writing for blind eyes, constructing stories that never happened and making our every day life look much more exciting than what it is.

I am having a cynical moment. There... It passed.

Relapse

Reload... Return, become, achieve and improve.
Try to feel and make it real!

Gah!

It happened again!
As I was walking to the train station, I met a woman. She was walking on the other side if the road, and as we were passing each other she raised her hand and waived to me. I am so sure that I have never seen her before, and I am starting to believe that I am suffering from heavy amnesia as a stress consequence.