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Changing your opinion if you're really convinced about something, is greatness, I think... I always thought I had had my head aches through all my life. I thought nothing could surprise me regarding head aches, until yesterday. I was writing on my master thesis and all the sudden, I started to see flashing patterns. They looked something like this: /\/\/\/\ and so on... It was a very peculiar feeling, I have never seen anything quite like it before. What an interesting non-drug-related trip, I thought. It went on like that for a couple of minutes, it was annoying but I am not a hypochondric type of person, so I thought maybe it was the sun or something. Then, all the sudden I started to feel an aggressive increasing pain in my head, like it was exploding or something. Aspirins were useless. I was effectively prevented from doing anything at all for the next three hours. Couldn't even fall asleep. It hurt so much that I was convinced that it would hurt less if someone cut a piece of my head off. That's the story about my first attack of migraine ever. Hope someone enjoyed...

Magnetic bird poo

You would be surprised if you knew how many strange bird poo related homepages there are out there on the internet. Actually I was looking for something else (that is what they all say, right?) namely a comment on a certain EU-commission report. I know it sounds very unrelated but it all has to do with a certain blog called IPkat. My new favourite blog (the land baron has to do some serious updating before I reconsider this grading). Anyhow, there is a certain bird-diaper you can buy in case you have free-flying birds in your apartment (I mean, just in case you have...), and the best thing about it is that they come in several different colours! They even have a rainbow coloured one! Other bird poo related homepages sell magnetic bird poo which is, well, yea, magnetic bird poo. You are suppose to attach them on your friends car as a practical joke or on your own car to send the birds a signal that this car is already marked and finished. Last bird poo page is called "The zen of falling bird poo", say no more...

Today's the Olympic Games ice-hockey final. My favourite team Finland (without being particularly Finnish myslef) is playing. I actually had a dream the other night about me playing ice hockey. I had the most believable players position (referring to my earlier post about my lacking skating skills) as the goal keeper. I remember myself wondering how I was to catch the puck if it went over my right shoulder. Since I was holding the stick in my right hand I could not throw it up cathing the puck in my glove. What was I suppose to stop it with, my face? I will be watching that very closely during the game today.

No sleep tastes good

I think I have underestimated the satisfaction of not sleeping. Friday night I was sleeping at Franks mom's place, and she has recently installed some kind of new heating system which makes the pipes slamming sometimes. I was sleeping downstairs and every time I heard that sound I woke up, and I couldn't sleep anywhere else, so I kept falling to sleep and wake up throughout the entire night. Last night wasn't much better since my budgie fell off his stick in the middle of the night (he does that sometimes, think there might be something destructive about him) and went bananas inside his cage, which caused my other beloved pet, the rabbit, go bananas as well. Then I got up 6.30 am (very early for someone like me) went 2 hours in car, trained for 6 hours and went home again. Being tired and focused on as few things as possible is relaxing and now my stomach ache and my head each is gone temporarly. It's good, it's goooood!

It is Olympic Games on tv these days, the ice hockey is so exciting! Especially the ladies ice hockey. Since they are not allowed to tackle their opponents, they get twice as frustrated and tackle them anyway. Of course they get deported. I think that is very feminine and I would like to play ice hockey as well. The fact that I can not even skate from A to B without tripping is a minor problem. I mean, there was this this one lassie who is only 16 years old, and she plays the Olympic Games! I am 22, and it always make me wonder, what have I done my whole life that is worth documenting, really? So depressing...

Some kind of monster

Stomach pains and nose bleed before lunch today, great! As if it was not enough, I got an email forcing me to take a very important decision very soon. I am in marvelous condition for just anything like that right now. I have to do something, so I was thinking that if a crappy health condition, like stress, is born in your head, it would be most appropriate to kill it there as soon as I get a chance. What my brain creates, my brain should also be capable of destroying. It is very simple, just stop! That's what Frank would say, but it is not that simple. I have about thousand things in my head for my studies and my search for employment. I worry my guts out for what the future might bring. I wish I could just take off for a while, think it would do miracles.

Just breathe... Breathe...

Health condition: annoying

Another day in paradise. I'm in stomach pains. This morning I had to turn around on my way to the train station and return home because I couldn't stand the pain. I rested half an hour or so, and then I went out again. It is still aching, and I know it is the sort of pain that comes from stress, so extremly annoying. I am not a hypochondriac, but inner nose-bleed and constant stomach pain gives me a pretty bad feeling.

Most disgusting blog ever

I think it is perfectly ok to bleed from your nose as long as you're sure it origins from your nose and nothing else. Yesterday as I was in the library in front of the computer I suddenly felt a familiar taste in my mouth. I wasn't touching my nose or sneezing or anything it just started to bleed. It must have been deep inside in my nose because the blood transported itself straight to my throat, not pouring out of my nose down on the dashboard for which I am very thankful. Now, what was I suppose to do? I had no napkin and the toilet is on the other side of the library. Spit it out in front of 30 unknown and known people? Not likely. That is why you must not think I am creepy because I swallowed it. I was wondering if it really came from my nose and not my mouth, however, blowing my nose afterwards made me completely sure. It is the most discrete nose bleed I have ever had, yet it must have been quite much. I have heard that swallow blood may cause throwing up, but I guess it might also compensate from the loss in the long term. I do wonder what caused such a throat/nose bleed anyway, stress? I don't feel stressed.

Had a creepy dream this night. A friend and I was out walking in the woods, and we came to a road that we had to cross. On the road in front of us lied two dead bodies of a deer and a moose. Their skin were missing and you could see the muscles and the veins. I sighted a third body somewhat distant from the animals. I went closer and I remember saying "I think this one is human". I do not remember any face though since the body was in the same condition as the other two. My friend and I panicked, crossed the road and rushed into the woods on the other side. When I woke up it was like 3 am, but I was scared to fall asleep again because of the nightmare. I am very uncomfortable when it comes to flesh, wounds and things beneath the skin. I remember in high school in class when I could barely watch a drawing of the human digestive system. Taste of blood doesn't seem to bother me though.

Buschronicity II

One has to forgive me for being totally obsessed with things related to bus travels. I spend much of my time sitting on busses travelling to uni or fellow compadres.

1. It is interesting that sitting on the bus brings the worst out of people. They could actually kill for becoming king of a double seat, even if the bus is really crowded and there is two passengers on every double seat except like one where there is only one person sitting. This very lame person is yet planted next to the aisle, head phones on, eyes closed, facing hers or his backpack comfortable seated next to the window. As if the bag needs a seat!? You would actually have to lend over this person and say out loud: Excuse me! Is this seat taken? Obviously it is, but the person has less choice than to move the bag and stand up in order to make the seat available. In slow motion of course.

2. Usually I try to seat myself next to someone that look nice, or preferable seem to smell nice judging by his or hers appearance. I like sitting next to people that look dry. See earlier blog upon the subject. I have a minimum of seconds to judge people by their looks, and you can't risk passing someone that look appropriate for a 2 hours silent company, just because you think there is someone better some seats away since you can not really turn around and go back to the front of the bus.

3. The bus will not arrive earlier or in any better shape by staring in a psychotic manner in its general arriving direction.

Me, the plant nerd

I think orchids are beautiful, therefore I have saved one from the trash can. I hope it will blossom very soon. Of course, it might as well die, because orchids are very touchy about how much water they want and how they want it to be served. Often one provides them with too much water. The funny thing is that you can never be sure if it is enough, since they act the same way when they've had too much as they do when they are drying to death. I think that is a very interesting yet annoying behaviour. Anyhows and ways, today I sprayed it with water from above and from beneath and put it back in my window where I hope it will soon become the most beautiful surviving orchid there is. Next plant project is to get a bonsai tree, I'll start with a fake one in case it commits suicide because of my total lack of knowledge in plant care. A bonsai takes lots of space too, to make its harmony justice. At the moment my room is constructed without any sense of harmony in mind whatsoever, therefore it will stay a future project.

Box issues and presenting fetish No. 1

Today I gave up on my rabbit and his bloody box. He loves to sit in it and on it, but has spent much time on eating most of it. Now it is an X-box (sorry), and he gets restless without it and starts to make noise way too early in the morning. I have to do something about it, the box I mean...

I just came home from town driving the car. It is great weather for playing in the snow with the car. Loads of snow and all of it is melting slowly. I love cars, I can not help it. Even the old crappy ones. I used to belive they all had a soul when I was a kid, they do have a face right? There were melancholic cars, evil cars, nerd type of cars and cars that looked like ducks. I still like to watch them, recognize them and dream about them, it is a sort of fetish. There is something about steel and metal.

Mood status: Disciplined and serious... Yea right...

When would I ever have time left to attend my blog I thought, well now for instance. I think change of life style is very popular these days. I just woke my sense of discipline last monday and then whipped it alive, and now I am starting to realise what my life will be like, yes in like three days only, the day I grow up and get real. It makes me sick how time can fly away once you decide to spend as much time in studies as you will spend in labour in future. I guess it all has to do with the fact that I enjoy my studies at the moment. How can something so boring be so interesting? Once I get my pathetic self home I have to prepare food and stuff for the next day, plus take care of my beloved pets and then, its time to go to bed! I bet it's the travellin that does it. Five to ten minutes waiting over here and five to ten minutes waiting over there and then 20-50 minutes travelling in one direction and 10-20 minutes of walking to the destination of departure. It is quite exhaustive if you start to care about it. However, yesterday I allowed myself to go to the cinema so I guess it means I am not enough disciplined.

Todays childish thought is to attend an AA-meeting just so that I could say "Hi, my name is X and I'm a piece of frolic". Guess I'll never grow up.

Almost Road Killed

On the way home the bus nearly ran over a tiny cocker spaniel who in total contempt of death leaped out in front of the speeding vehicle. I could understand the spaniel since I have always considered them being one of the most silly type of dogs (in great company of all other dogs of course) there are. The remarkable was the owner who leaped after him which made the process even more near-to-death-experienced since human is not built for leaping in the first place. Oh yea, and brought her other silly cocker spaniel with her. The driver made a sudden brake, which cause everyone in the bus saying hello to the seat in front of them, and uttered something about damn beasts. Not sure if he related to the spaniels or the owner.

Hair

I found a piece of horsehair on the couch. It really makes me wonder since I do not really know any horses at the moment. How did it get there, and who was the original owner? I know my band mate cut a piece of hair from her violin bow at the last rehearsal, but the odds, that it stuck on my clothes and fell off while I sat on the couch, are pretty slim.

Off to uni...