Bristol and presenting fetish No. 2

I should be rewarded for being at uni and still have not written a single word on my master thesis although time is 9.30 am. And... You should be rewarded or at least forgiven for thinking of me as a person having a serious fetish regarding copyright. Speaking about copyright, at IPkat today, there is an anagram contest. There are several phrases that you can choose from, among others: "Directive 97/55/EC of European Parliament and of the Council of 6 October 1997 amending Directive 84/450/EEC concerning misleading advertising so as to include comparative advertising" I would love to come up with an anagram on that. I would definitely name my master thesis after that anagram if I did.

At the moment, there is this annoying person sitting in front of me in the computer room. She makes funny phone calls to people almost screaming out complaining over how much she has to write on some essay. I have never heard anyone whine that much in the worst local accent. She sounds a little bit lika Cartman at his most hysterical. You would be surprised if you realised how much anyone would like to strangle her. Or set her on fire. I often think of that. When I meet annoying people, I just picture in my head how I bring out a lighter, approach the person, the click, the person in flames. It is like soothing therapy, and it works very well.

This weekend, Frank's in Bristol by some lame reason connected to his employment at the university. Nice for him, I thought, but what about me? I turn to my band in comfort, and lucky me, I will be beating up the bass guitar most of this weekend, starting tonight. Can hardly wait...

So... Back to my fetish...

And you trust the Internet since when..?

... Well, ever since the Floppy got out of fashion, and I nevertheless decided to keep it closest to my heart, and it cheated on me. I trust the Internet only because I trust the Floppy's even less. Those plastic bastards! They break, they stuck, they make themselves unaccessable. So... Now I email my thesis to myself after a days work. I think it is very safe in my inbox, and if I made my backup in the computer, the lightning would strike our house, setting it on fire (see earlier post on force majeaure) and my thesis would be gone forever. USB memories, by the way, are for modern cowards.

It struck me how creepy it is that I have created something so important (for my own future). After all, I have written over 20 pages and today I hit the magic footnote-number 100. I don't think I have ever written anything so extensive, and the worst thing is that in reality it does not really exist beacuse there are no print-outs.

Laborius People

Today as I was lurking about in the office premises where dad works, I spotted an interesting brochure. It was some sort of advertisment for participation at a seminar. The seminar was called 'laborius people'. The point of the seminar was that you always get to meet laborious people who devour efficiency and (although it did not say so expressly) your will to live, and therefore should learn how to deal with these people. The wise-guy, the over-zealous bureaucrat, the general usurper and so on. And yes, for one second it made me wonder which one I am. I think it is interesting how many things you can use as an excuse for having a seminar and make people pay for it. Laborius people are after all, what makes us other people not laborius, we should thank them. I have been close killing some of them over the years, but I admit... They are a constant source of inspiration and what doesn't kill, only hurts.

And by the way... Christopher Walken is running for president 2008. He never ceases to amaze me, not since he danced in Fatboy Slims' video Weapon of Choice.

Entertainment

I went to this most extraordinary arrangement last Friday. A local Gasthaus had invited about 350 people for dinner and a promise of some entertainment. The people consisted of local self-employed industrialists with families and people living in the neighborhood. I was there because Frank's mom lives nearby. That means, I was there for feeding. Live band, welcome drink, buffé and a master of ceremonies whom I would not having for toastmaster even under gun threat. Although he seemed to be a nice chappie (he had a moustache), I bet he is gifted with other nice qualities than verbal ones. It was all free, and I suppose one becomes a little more forgiving than what's normal. Food was nice, and we all got three beer/wine tickets each (which I spent on Pepsi in respect of my drivers license and dads BMW) in order to fully appreciate the lousy speaker and the false singing waitressess (they were most certainly forced to do it). Anyhow, after actually trying to understand and being at the spot for several hours, I am still totally unable to understand what they gained from this. I think most people (at least the ones who sticked to their three tickets) felt embarrassed and. It is not as if I feel that I would like to eat there more often. The place is located next to the super highway and naturally aimed at attracting tourists. I don't suppose anyone changed their opinion after this night. Who would ever like to risk facing that man with the moustache again?

Moreover, the singing waitressess got me wonder. How come you are always assumed of being able to sing in tune just because you are a woman? I got the question once "So, you sing in the band?" "No I play the bass guitar" "And sing?"

Academic collapse

The satisfaction of not doing anything at all is overwhelming. Since I spent half my day on board various types of public transportation vehicles, I find myself in a rather rough condition. As one gets from travelling. Therefore, I have decided to take the rest of my day off. I figured my brain would not be of any particular use anyway, at least not in the academic area. And speaking about not achieving that much in the academic area, the land baron and I visited a school today where students achieve extremely various states of enlightment. A guy mentioned the pirate party that will run for the parliament during the election this autumn. I noted them on the news some months ago and their aim consists of an abolishment of the copyright. I can think of at least three resaons why this is a bad idea. 1. I think copyright is a way to reward the authors. If there was no reward, I think authors would still produce work, but there would be no reason of communication to the public. Unless, the situation was dealing with the expression of an opinion. 2. Copyright is about creativity, and not consumption. Reward the authors because they inspire the next generation. It is a circle of encouraging creativity and it is not devoured into disappearance. 3. My whole master thesis would be totally pointless.

Death by booking

I just chased a guy away from this computer by looking deep into his eyes saying: "Did you book this computer? I booked it." Perfectly logical statement. The fact that there are like seven non-occupied computers in this room makes me feel even better. This whole-book-your-computer-or-else!-system is quite new to the uni library. This means that only some people care to book them at all (cause they do not really have to). I think it is just an opportunity for me to exercise power, therefore I insist upon booking.

Last night, I was on some kind of drug, in my dreams. By some reason Frank had given it to me. I took two pills and it turned out that I should only have taken one. The side-effects of two pills were unknown and I could be facing just any diesease within minutes. Frank told me we had to go to the emergency at once, but I was with my parents so I could not just leave. Frank set the stage and called me on my mobile phone telling me that there was someone sneaking around my house spying and that I had to go home and talk to this guy and tell him to stop. My parents did not hear this conversation since it was on mobile phone. So I wonder why we had it at all, i could just leave telling my parents myself. Weird indeed.

When jokes about magnetic bird poo just isn't funny anymore

Maybe I should just stop complaining. Oh, my head hurts, my nose is bleeding, I'm seeking employment at the IRS... Ooops... After all, it could have been worse. I could have been a bird with the bird flu or a cow with CJD or a bird with CJD or a cow with bird flu. It seems, you can never be quite sure anymore. Just the other day they said on tv that its ok to let your dogs and cats out because bird flu had never transferred to a cat or a dog before. Then, yesterday they found an infected cat, so now it is only safe to let your dog out. Until they find an infected dog somewhere. What is precaution anyway? I suggest we put bird diapers on all birds.